January 21st, 2009
Congratulations, Barack Obama has been elected President. I mean that whole-heartedly. If our representative democracy placed Mr. Obama in power, I respect that decision. “President Obama” isn’t a pleasant thing to say, but I’ll have at least four years to get used to it.
Now I hear it’s time for America to heal and become united. There’s no more room for partisanship; the world’s become much too dangerous for politics as usual to be anything but destructive, right? Now we should all open the door and collectively begin a new era of American politics, equipped with fresh ideas. As Obama’s inauguration speech implies, this country should let go of the ”stale” right-wing/left-wing dichotomy, and unite in laying the foundation for a prosperous American future.
Do you agree with that? Of course you do. Now that your guy is in charge, the polarity strategy is a threat to your power, not a path to it. But where were your calls for unity under George W. Bush? Sure, there was a week right after 9-11 where his opponents bit their tongues and put partisan bickering aside, but now you’re even complaining that gave him a free pass to push his “war agenda” through.
It would be easier to believe your affection for unity is sincere if you would have acted a bit differently at the turn of the millennium. With all due respect I take offense to your cynical appeals to our better nature. You see, the biggest reason America was a polarized nation after George W. Bush was elected is because Democrats threw an eight-year temper tantrum during his term. George Bush didn’t divide America, you did. Please don’t shut me out; let me explain.
George Bush isn’t the polarizing figure you think he is. He’s an open, self-depreciating, and dare I say likeable fellow. Even reliably left-wing sources such as Ted Kennedy and PBS concede that he’s personable. Sure, he wears his religion on his sleeve, but Christians aren’t inherently mean-spirited. Remember that Bush didn’t win two elections by promising to be strident. He ran on a platform of big government, “compassionate conservatism,” and he pretty much ran the country that way, spending like an Obama voter who just got paid by ACORN to register in 13 different counties. He dramatically increased not only defense spending, but threw barrels of money at education and even an expensive prescription drug plan.
You hated him despite all this, but he didn’t hate you back. Chances are you barely registered on his radar. Yet somehow the bizarre way he says “nuclear” was supposed to justify undisguised disgust. One of Bush’s best moments came in 2004 when at an annual Radio and Television Correspondents dinner, when he joked during his slideshow presentation, “…those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere.” This is remarkable because the man took one of his most embarrassing moments and not only drew attention to it, but made light of it (I aspire to be that good natured). Obviously the opposing Democratic Party didn’t see it that way. Being his political opponents, they ignored Bush’s good humor and instead said that he wasn’t taking the issue seriously enough, which is to say bland enough to be printed in a high school textbook.
In stark contrast to an affable President who has enough charity and self-esteem to earnestly poke fun at his own self, you drove around for years with Kerry/Edwards ’04 stickers on your car, clearly communicating the message that you reject George Bush and everyone who supported him. Eight years after the fact, you still complain about the outcome of the 2000 election. You even set up a passive-aggressive website apologizing to the rest of the world for Bush’s re-election. You compiled lists of “Bushisms” knowing full well that every public speaker, even President Obama, can be made to look like a doofus if you isolate their linguistic mishaps. Out of your own accord, you did everything you could to disassociate yourself from Republicans, conservatives, and what is colloquially known as “red state America.”
George Bush didn’t call you stupid every day for eight years, but you did it to him. George Bush never protested in front of your home, harassed your children, and mocked you as someone’s puppet as you did to members of his administration. The neocons didn’t experiment with what Michelle Malkin calls “Assassination chic,” an undoubtedly well-adjusted industry which deals in perverse fantasies of George Bush’s murder. You can disagree with every single executive decision he made, but what kind of unresolved emotional trauma produces the kind of person who revels in the death of someone they merely disagree with?
In the dawn of the new Obama administration, you have placed the responsibility for unifying the country exclusively on the shoulders of your opponents, just as you’ve done in the past. You blamed George Bush for not conforming to your ideas about the Iraq war, without budging from your anti-war stance. Likewise, you’re calling for the American right to fall in line behind a leader who promises to enact several policies which are likely to be completely antithetical to conservative values. If America in fact unites under Barack Obama, it won’t be because he’s a “transformational figure,” but because you won’t be waging a cultural filibuster against every program he proposes. Sure you want America to unify, but you conveniently leave out that you will only allow that to happen under the condition that your mandate is being driven. Your calls for unity are a sham, designed to shame your opponents into silence. If by some miracle John McCain had become President, you would be perpetually agitating Republicans in abject rejection of an America united under a moderate conservative.
To summarize: You did everything you legally could to undermine the prospect of an America united behind George W. Bush. Now that your guy’s in power, all of a sudden we’re living in a post-partisan era? Sorry, dear. The chickens will be coming home to roost this year. But I will pay homage to your behavior under George W. Bush’s presidency (during a time of war, no less).
Out of nothing but protest, I’m going to drive for four years with a McCain/Palin sticker on my car’s rear bumper. I’m going to laugh unnaturally at Obama’s speech flubs, even though just like Bush’s, they’ll rarely be funny. I’m going to proudly sport t-shirts that say “F*ck Obama.” I’m going to frivolously accuse him and his administration of crimes against humanity. If Barack Obama passes on bad information in good faith, like Bush did with WMDs, I’m going to insist that he was lying instead of misinformed, clinging to badly worded documents which “prove” my point.
Actually, I’m probably only going to do the bumper sticker. I’ve learned from watching you that stewing in hatred for eight years can make an opposing administration feel much more hellish than it truly is. While you’re pleading for unity (lest someone undermine your political power) I’ll be calling for perspective. Like most other conservatives, I’ll support President Obama when it makes sense because my country’s well-being is partly dependent on his performance. But I will also be reminding Americans that he’s not a post-partisan pragmatist, but a charismatic leftist. Barack Obama’s ideas aren’t new; they can be traced back to a long-standing philosophical heritage known as “liberalism.” Pretending otherwise is patently anti-intellectual. Whether you like it or not, the left/right dichotomy will be more relevant under Obama’s presidency, because it’s perfectly suited for shedding light on the nature of his ideals.
I harbor no illusions about the effect of this very personal letter. After reading this, you will undoubtedly defend your blinding hatred of America’s 43rd President, while refusing to acknowledge the glaring contradiction manifest in your behavior under Republican rule and the cloying requests for unity which you employ now that a man who reflects your sensibilities is arguably the most powerful person in the world. I reject your unity, because it doesn’t mean dialogue and bipartisan compromise; it means get out of your way so you can “remake” America without having to deal with your critics. With all due respect, I refuse to sacrifice my conscience on the altar of your vision, even if it makes me a “cynic.”